Turkey At Sea
I'm sitting here (this is Deidre, Biddies keyboardist) on a relaxing Sunday evening catching up on Top Model (Go Heather!), so I thought I'd write a bit about my fabulous Thanksgiving vacation. I normally don't use words like "fabulous", but A) see above Top Model comment and B) I spent all last week on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, so HELL yeah the word fits!
The ship in question was the M/S Zuiderdam of the Holland America Line. My fellow travel companions were my husband Ben and his father Harry, mother Mary and sister Helen. This whole cruise was amazing for several reasons:
First of all, it was the best thing EVER to spend a whole week with Ben, since he's been living in Florida since July training to be an airline pilot while I've been holding down the fort in Brooklyn. I miss him.
Second, those who know me know that I spent my first post-grad school year playing piano aboard Norwegian Cruise Lines. I actually wrote a song about my experience, called "Honorary Viking"; see lyrics below. (Written after being christened with ice by the captain in the Arctic Circle). So I was VERY excited to finally be a passenger, for once! (HA HA to my old NCL Bosses--I went into the DISCO-take that!- and was FIRST on the tender and AVOIDED the passenger talent show like the PLAGUE!! Ah Ha Ha HA!! AND I didn't even wear a NAMETAG!!!)
Excuse me. Got a bit carried away there.
Anyway, third, I run around NYC like a crazy person much of the time. So to have a week where my main requirements were tanning (and yes, Lee, I totally used SPF 50 the whole time), eating (and more eating) and swimming was heaven on earth. And though my cruise ship days as an employee were rough sometimes, I do love the sea and I've missed it. It was good to see it again (no pun intended). When the full moon rose over the ocean two nights ago, it was like greeting an old friend.
And so it was that I found myself onboard the M/S Zuiderdam last Saturday afternoon, armed with a few sundresses and an appetite. We immediately (of course) headed to the Lido deck's buffet restaurant, along with ALL of the other passengers, like it was some kind of bizarre Amazing Race challenge. Then (of course) it was onto lifeboat drill. Having done about a million of these during my NCL days, I was not thrilled about having to do one again, but upon arriving home and seeing the footage of that sinking boat in Antartica, I now feel relieved that we were required to do it! (During one of the production shows--more about those later--one of the singers burst into "My Heart Will Go On", the theme song from Titanic, and the whole audience seemed to drop their jaws at once. Like, "Are you KIDDING me"???)
The ship set sail and we each soon discovered our favorite places to chill out. Mine was in the onboard coffee shop. Another room which became an immediate family favorite was the Piano Bar, which surprised me since I thought, being on vacation, that that would be the very last place I'd want to be. But they have a jewel out there on the Zuiderdam, and his name is Randall Powell. This guy is AWESOME. I am not even kidding. Words cannot even describe it. On the next day, at sea, we played "Name That Tune" in Randall's bar. Thanks to one Mary Struck (and my University of North Texas Jazz Studies Degree), we landed the second highest score EVER!!! at the game. We were almost perfect, in fact. (Trivia note: the only person who's ever scored a perfect score in one of Randall's games was Willie Stein, who wrote "Orange-Colored Sky").
Our first port of call: Grand Turk in Turks and Caicos Islands. Since most of the family went diving and I'm not certified, I took a lovely walk around the town. This took about 10 minutes. Literally! SO I took myself to breakfast at the Turks Head Mansion courtyard. I asked for an iced coffee with milk. And was answered with a look of, "Ummm, WHAT?" I explained, and was cheerfully served coffee in a giant Cocoa Puffs mug with an entire glass of milk poured in it and a few ice cubes. I smiled weakly, and drank it gratefully.
That night I treated myself to a spa treatment. I figured, when in Rome...
It started with a trip to the Hydropool and Thermal Suite. All I can say is, arghhummmmohyeahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries added to the full-on diva experience. Then I spent a lovely hour or so under the hands of a gifted yet chatty massage therapist. When she found out I used to work on ships (and date a salon guy), we spent the entire time exchanging ship dating stories. I realized if I kept her talking she'd give me a longer massage, so I kept saying, "Really? And then the dining room manager walked in and saw you with the shore EXCURSIONS guy? OMG!!", and she'd yammer on while rubbing my scalp for an extra ten minutes. Heh heh heh.
The next day we docked in (YES! Heather is safe! Time for some Tila Tequila) Tortola. It was raining, but that didn't deter Ben, Helen and I from going to a secluded and gorgeous beach. That cab drive put my many cab rides in NYC to SHAME. This guy was speeding up one-lane dirt mountains (yes, mountains) while watching The Condemned on a DVD player. A cursory search later revealed that yes, there was a dime bag in the van. As an added bonus, none of the seatbelts worked. But I was in the Caribbean, dammit, and I was going to that beach if it killed me!!
Luckily, it didn't. But what almost did kill me were about 30 insect bites from that gorgeous beach which swelled up over the next few days into what I can only describe as searing hot poker welts resembling some cross of mutant chicken pox/poison ivy hellcreatures. Adding insult to injury, after I went to the shipboard pharmacy and they sold me hydrocortisone for $10.65, I found it in the gift shop for $3.99!! I was in a fair bit of agony, but I couldn't let it deter me. After all, there was more eating to do! (And believe me, some people on these ships do nothing BUT eat, for the entire seven days.)
(On that note, I have to say I was pretty proud of myself--I worked out twice in the gym, not easy to do since the ship was rocking and rolling every night, and even did yoga on the beach at the private island the last day. Go, D!!)
Wednesday found us in St. Thomas. Shops. Tourists. Shops. Enough said.
(Oh, except that after I stood up from sitting on a park bench in the town square, I had a tiny Christmas light sticking out of the derriere portion of my dress. Don't ask me how this happened. But when I told Lee Ann this story we agreed that it made sense. After all, the two of us are what we affectionately refer to as "Christmas Whores". So much so that we are developing, with the band, a special Christmas show for next year. Stay tuned!)
That night was the chocolate buffet. Again, enough said. (burp)
Thursday was truly the strangest Thanksgiving I've ever had. (Except maybe for Buenos Aires 6 years ago). It was just odd to be tanning at sea and then go eat turkey. And then experience the most over-the-top show imaginable, Stage and Screen. I've played a lot a crazy shows, folks, but this one took the cake! We are talking a medley of Purple Rain (complete with gay Prince clone and purple mullet-outfitted dancing girls), The Pink Panther (diamond heist by flashlight), Goldfinger (Bond Girl wigs--I've gotta finish my Bond Girl song!!), Blue Suede Shoes (you guessed it), Lady in Red (duh) and Over the Rainbow (get it? get it?), all done while writhing tantalizingly in costumes designed by Bob Mackie. Has to be seen to be believed! And then, just to top it off, Ben and I went to what I though was a scavenger hunt, run by our illustrious cruise director Parker. Except it turned out to be a competitive drag show for the guys. We were paired with some nice young folks from North Carolina, but after the round where the guys were required to skip around the room holding hands with each other and then put on a ladies bra, all of us in unison said (after uncomfortable pause), "Well, good night! Nice meeting you!" (enter pitter patter of feet running swiftly away).
Friday was a day of full-on luxurious nothing-ness on Holland America's private island, Half Moon Cay. After my yoga class I proceeded to bliss out in a big way. That night the bliss continued--Baked Alaska Parade of Chefs, coming back to the stateroom to find my hand towel sculpted into a monkey, popcorn in the onboard movie theater, Broadway singalong with Randall, gawking at magician James Cielen --I'm still a bit dazed by the whole experience. Which might explain why I'm now watching Survivorman and it's taken me over 2 hours to write this.
At any rate, if any of you have ever wanted to take a cruise but wondered if you'd like it, I say: GO. Go TOMORROW. It's totally surreal but worth every minute. And if you do go, please, always, always thank the musicians. Those people work their butts off. And never request "My Heart Will Go On".
******************************
For an even funnier and heartwarming travel read (hard to imagine, I know), pick up Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. (I think I used to teach her piano lessons). I read it onboard and it made me smile.
******************************
"Honorary Viking" (or, Memories from the All-Norwegian Cruise During a Year as a Musical Slave)
Midnight buffet lures me from my bed
Strains of polkas dance through my head
Revelry seems fun; vodka for everyone
Wish I was home instead
In the morning they will be found
All 'round the ship
The brig to the crown
Faces up and eyelids down
Dreaming of their hometowns
The Oslo girls dancing round
and round
Singing:
(chorus):
Westward, Dreamward
(Ahoy!) Back again
Sailing toward the Norwegian Sun
Westward, Dreamward
(Ahoy!) Back again
Sailing on the Norwegian Sun
Entertaining seven nights a week
In the lounge, pour me a drink
Down in the crew bar
Shots are a dollar
Hope the boat doesn't sink
Land in sight, a sigh of relief
Wait for the shore excursions to leave
Then flirt with the waiter, meet him later
Making out on the beach
Reality out of reach
Reality out of reach
Singing.. (chorus)
(Bridge):
Here to forget their troubles
On a liner in the midst of the sea
Better bring me a double
Got two shows tonight, and a captain's cocktail party
(and the passenger talent show, which will surely surely kill me)
Arctic circle, here at last
Out on deck, a nice ice bath
And the captain proclaims me:
"Honorary Viking!"
Don't you wish it would last?
A year can go by so fast
On such a strange career path
(chorus)
Westward!
Dreamward!
Honorary Viking!
The ship in question was the M/S Zuiderdam of the Holland America Line. My fellow travel companions were my husband Ben and his father Harry, mother Mary and sister Helen. This whole cruise was amazing for several reasons:
First of all, it was the best thing EVER to spend a whole week with Ben, since he's been living in Florida since July training to be an airline pilot while I've been holding down the fort in Brooklyn. I miss him.
Second, those who know me know that I spent my first post-grad school year playing piano aboard Norwegian Cruise Lines. I actually wrote a song about my experience, called "Honorary Viking"; see lyrics below. (Written after being christened with ice by the captain in the Arctic Circle). So I was VERY excited to finally be a passenger, for once! (HA HA to my old NCL Bosses--I went into the DISCO-take that!- and was FIRST on the tender and AVOIDED the passenger talent show like the PLAGUE!! Ah Ha Ha HA!! AND I didn't even wear a NAMETAG!!!)
Excuse me. Got a bit carried away there.
Anyway, third, I run around NYC like a crazy person much of the time. So to have a week where my main requirements were tanning (and yes, Lee, I totally used SPF 50 the whole time), eating (and more eating) and swimming was heaven on earth. And though my cruise ship days as an employee were rough sometimes, I do love the sea and I've missed it. It was good to see it again (no pun intended). When the full moon rose over the ocean two nights ago, it was like greeting an old friend.
And so it was that I found myself onboard the M/S Zuiderdam last Saturday afternoon, armed with a few sundresses and an appetite. We immediately (of course) headed to the Lido deck's buffet restaurant, along with ALL of the other passengers, like it was some kind of bizarre Amazing Race challenge. Then (of course) it was onto lifeboat drill. Having done about a million of these during my NCL days, I was not thrilled about having to do one again, but upon arriving home and seeing the footage of that sinking boat in Antartica, I now feel relieved that we were required to do it! (During one of the production shows--more about those later--one of the singers burst into "My Heart Will Go On", the theme song from Titanic, and the whole audience seemed to drop their jaws at once. Like, "Are you KIDDING me"???)
The ship set sail and we each soon discovered our favorite places to chill out. Mine was in the onboard coffee shop. Another room which became an immediate family favorite was the Piano Bar, which surprised me since I thought, being on vacation, that that would be the very last place I'd want to be. But they have a jewel out there on the Zuiderdam, and his name is Randall Powell. This guy is AWESOME. I am not even kidding. Words cannot even describe it. On the next day, at sea, we played "Name That Tune" in Randall's bar. Thanks to one Mary Struck (and my University of North Texas Jazz Studies Degree), we landed the second highest score EVER!!! at the game. We were almost perfect, in fact. (Trivia note: the only person who's ever scored a perfect score in one of Randall's games was Willie Stein, who wrote "Orange-Colored Sky").
Our first port of call: Grand Turk in Turks and Caicos Islands. Since most of the family went diving and I'm not certified, I took a lovely walk around the town. This took about 10 minutes. Literally! SO I took myself to breakfast at the Turks Head Mansion courtyard. I asked for an iced coffee with milk. And was answered with a look of, "Ummm, WHAT?" I explained, and was cheerfully served coffee in a giant Cocoa Puffs mug with an entire glass of milk poured in it and a few ice cubes. I smiled weakly, and drank it gratefully.
That night I treated myself to a spa treatment. I figured, when in Rome...
It started with a trip to the Hydropool and Thermal Suite. All I can say is, arghhummmmohyeahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries added to the full-on diva experience. Then I spent a lovely hour or so under the hands of a gifted yet chatty massage therapist. When she found out I used to work on ships (and date a salon guy), we spent the entire time exchanging ship dating stories. I realized if I kept her talking she'd give me a longer massage, so I kept saying, "Really? And then the dining room manager walked in and saw you with the shore EXCURSIONS guy? OMG!!", and she'd yammer on while rubbing my scalp for an extra ten minutes. Heh heh heh.
The next day we docked in (YES! Heather is safe! Time for some Tila Tequila) Tortola. It was raining, but that didn't deter Ben, Helen and I from going to a secluded and gorgeous beach. That cab drive put my many cab rides in NYC to SHAME. This guy was speeding up one-lane dirt mountains (yes, mountains) while watching The Condemned on a DVD player. A cursory search later revealed that yes, there was a dime bag in the van. As an added bonus, none of the seatbelts worked. But I was in the Caribbean, dammit, and I was going to that beach if it killed me!!
Luckily, it didn't. But what almost did kill me were about 30 insect bites from that gorgeous beach which swelled up over the next few days into what I can only describe as searing hot poker welts resembling some cross of mutant chicken pox/poison ivy hellcreatures. Adding insult to injury, after I went to the shipboard pharmacy and they sold me hydrocortisone for $10.65, I found it in the gift shop for $3.99!! I was in a fair bit of agony, but I couldn't let it deter me. After all, there was more eating to do! (And believe me, some people on these ships do nothing BUT eat, for the entire seven days.)
(On that note, I have to say I was pretty proud of myself--I worked out twice in the gym, not easy to do since the ship was rocking and rolling every night, and even did yoga on the beach at the private island the last day. Go, D!!)
Wednesday found us in St. Thomas. Shops. Tourists. Shops. Enough said.
(Oh, except that after I stood up from sitting on a park bench in the town square, I had a tiny Christmas light sticking out of the derriere portion of my dress. Don't ask me how this happened. But when I told Lee Ann this story we agreed that it made sense. After all, the two of us are what we affectionately refer to as "Christmas Whores". So much so that we are developing, with the band, a special Christmas show for next year. Stay tuned!)
That night was the chocolate buffet. Again, enough said. (burp)
Thursday was truly the strangest Thanksgiving I've ever had. (Except maybe for Buenos Aires 6 years ago). It was just odd to be tanning at sea and then go eat turkey. And then experience the most over-the-top show imaginable, Stage and Screen. I've played a lot a crazy shows, folks, but this one took the cake! We are talking a medley of Purple Rain (complete with gay Prince clone and purple mullet-outfitted dancing girls), The Pink Panther (diamond heist by flashlight), Goldfinger (Bond Girl wigs--I've gotta finish my Bond Girl song!!), Blue Suede Shoes (you guessed it), Lady in Red (duh) and Over the Rainbow (get it? get it?), all done while writhing tantalizingly in costumes designed by Bob Mackie. Has to be seen to be believed! And then, just to top it off, Ben and I went to what I though was a scavenger hunt, run by our illustrious cruise director Parker. Except it turned out to be a competitive drag show for the guys. We were paired with some nice young folks from North Carolina, but after the round where the guys were required to skip around the room holding hands with each other and then put on a ladies bra, all of us in unison said (after uncomfortable pause), "Well, good night! Nice meeting you!" (enter pitter patter of feet running swiftly away).
Friday was a day of full-on luxurious nothing-ness on Holland America's private island, Half Moon Cay. After my yoga class I proceeded to bliss out in a big way. That night the bliss continued--Baked Alaska Parade of Chefs, coming back to the stateroom to find my hand towel sculpted into a monkey, popcorn in the onboard movie theater, Broadway singalong with Randall, gawking at magician James Cielen --I'm still a bit dazed by the whole experience. Which might explain why I'm now watching Survivorman and it's taken me over 2 hours to write this.
At any rate, if any of you have ever wanted to take a cruise but wondered if you'd like it, I say: GO. Go TOMORROW. It's totally surreal but worth every minute. And if you do go, please, always, always thank the musicians. Those people work their butts off. And never request "My Heart Will Go On".
******************************
For an even funnier and heartwarming travel read (hard to imagine, I know), pick up Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. (I think I used to teach her piano lessons). I read it onboard and it made me smile.
******************************
"Honorary Viking" (or, Memories from the All-Norwegian Cruise During a Year as a Musical Slave)
Midnight buffet lures me from my bed
Strains of polkas dance through my head
Revelry seems fun; vodka for everyone
Wish I was home instead
In the morning they will be found
All 'round the ship
The brig to the crown
Faces up and eyelids down
Dreaming of their hometowns
The Oslo girls dancing round
and round
Singing:
(chorus):
Westward, Dreamward
(Ahoy!) Back again
Sailing toward the Norwegian Sun
Westward, Dreamward
(Ahoy!) Back again
Sailing on the Norwegian Sun
Entertaining seven nights a week
In the lounge, pour me a drink
Down in the crew bar
Shots are a dollar
Hope the boat doesn't sink
Land in sight, a sigh of relief
Wait for the shore excursions to leave
Then flirt with the waiter, meet him later
Making out on the beach
Reality out of reach
Reality out of reach
Singing.. (chorus)
(Bridge):
Here to forget their troubles
On a liner in the midst of the sea
Better bring me a double
Got two shows tonight, and a captain's cocktail party
(and the passenger talent show, which will surely surely kill me)
Arctic circle, here at last
Out on deck, a nice ice bath
And the captain proclaims me:
"Honorary Viking!"
Don't you wish it would last?
A year can go by so fast
On such a strange career path
(chorus)
Westward!
Dreamward!
Honorary Viking!
posted by Deidre Rodman Struck at 9:00 PM
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