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Almost Heaven, West Virginia's Blennerhassett Hotel in Parkersburg

READ THIS POST WITH PHOTOS AT THETINYGUIDE.COM

It's always a bit of a crap shoot to go on the road with a The Lascivious Biddies. Our agent books the shows in no particular pattern, often in a small theater in a small to mid-size town. We New Yorkers relish the chance to breathe fresh air, wander sleepy streets and fill our eyes with green. This time around, we're landed in Parkersburg, WV.

From The Blennerhassett Hotel's genial general manager, Cecil Childress, I learned that Parkersburg was once was home to the first seriously profitable oil field in the USA. As a result, the town is full of Industrialist palaces like said hotel, the town hall and an old Carnegie Library that now the gargantuan and labyrinthine Trans Allegheny Used Book Store.------->

Trans Allegheny Books 725 Green St 304-422-4499

The Blennerhassett Hotel sits a few short blocks from the Little Kanawha River and is the source of the old downtown’s gentle pulse. In one short afternoon in the pine-paneled library (in front of a warm fire) we saw a slew of locals dropping in for a Starbucks, heard about the hotel’s benevolent ghost and met the Mayor. Our guest rooms were spotless and comfortable. Each comes furnished with all the necessary amenities, and a few extra treats. Beyond the shampoo and soap, (remember girls love this stuff) I also was treated to a tiny sewing kit, a shoe polish rag, and a little box containing two cotton balls and two cotton swabs. You may think that it’s such a small thing to note on a hotel review, but those details are the difference between a hotel set up to suck the dollars out of one’s wallet and those set up to make one happy and comfortable.

In the evening, the lobby restaurant Spats – widely reputed to be the best fine dining in town – fills up with a well-heeled crowd. On a West Virginia scale it ain’t cheap to eat there, and our musician’s budget kept us away, but word on the street is that it‘s worth every penny. The Biddies stuck to the bar. Deidre said the burger is one of the best she’s had ($8.50) and Saskia and I hit the $3 Blue Moon pints pretty hard. In Parkersburg, the price is middle-of-the-road, but in New York, we’d easily pay double – so it only makes sense that we’d stock up?

Every single person we met at the hotel was really lovely, the décor is lovely, there is complimentary valet parking, there is a WINE SHOP (omg!!!) in the lobby…what more could one want? The Blennerhassett Hotel is most definitely secure as the best hotel we have ever stayed in…ever…on the road. Rah Rah Sis Boom Ba! Number One! It’s magic!

Blennerhassett Hotel Fourth and Market Street, 304-422-3131 or 800-678-8946

Dining options are slim around Parkersburg. Two of the best are those mentioned a few paragraphs up. We spotted two sub shops on Market Street, but were eventually pulled in as repeat customers by The Crystal Café and Cham’s Lebanese Restaurant.

The Crystal Café sits just a block up from the hotel. We hit it in the mornings for $4 plates of pancakes, eggs, toast, English muffins and delicious hot sandwiches. Service is super friendly, and we were charmed by the mugs on the walls. Seems like each regular (Captain Jimmy?) has one to drink coffee out of every morning. Saskia says their poached eggs are superb. I would say the same for the-everything-else.

Crystal Cafe 402 Market St 304-428-5680

Another three or so blocks up the road, Sas and I found Cham’s Lebanese restaurant. Brother and sister Rizcallah and Cham whip up excellent Lebanese home cooking for office workers at the lunch hour, and all manner of townsfolk at night. Rizcallah and Cham have 100% of their heart invested in the place. On entering, you are an honored guest and friend before anything else. Even without such service, though, the food would still haunt my dreams. It will, in fact. Saskia and I sampled a deliciously gamey Kafta sandwich (spiced beef and hummus), Shishkatouk (mustardy chicken kebab with garlic sauce on a pita), Fatoush (greens, toasted pita, tomato, parsley with a tangy vinaigrette), Turkish coffee (cardamom spiced) and baklava. Ooooooooohhhhh baklava. Rizcallah sells the usual honey mixture in the plain version, but in the crispy birds nest version, he’s splashed in a little orange blossom, which chases the sweet buttah flavor with a delicate, subtle floral scent. Everything we ate was wonderful, but the baklava crosses over in to the divine.

Cham's Lebanese Restaurant 610 Market Street 304-428-2730

Thank you Parkersburg! Thank you (amazing, beautiful, perfectly restored back to its 1920s grandeur) Smoot Theater! Thank you Red Hats! Thank you Parkersburg Catholic and Warren High Schools! Thank you Blennerhassett Hotel! Cross your fingers with us that we’ll be able to pass your way again before too long…we’ll miss you in the meanwhile!

xoxo
Lee Ann